


Till you need me

by supernaturalgirl85



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, F/M, Falling In Love, Heartbreak, Past Character Death, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-09-14 15:51:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9190394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supernaturalgirl85/pseuds/supernaturalgirl85
Summary: You have been pushing your feelings  for rick aside for years. He was  married and had a son and a baby on the way.  But after the incident  in the prison  leaving every one scrambling to recover including Rick what will happen with  your feelings.A/N: loosely  based on season 3 right after Lori dies. When I say loosely based means I won't be following  the show to closely.   Hope you like please vote and comment !!





	1. Broken

 The physical aspect of the attack took less time to clean up .Moving the bodies out of the courtyard fixing the break in the fence. But emotionally and mentally that was going to take a lot longer.

     The attack had left everyone in shock and  grieving . T-dog had died saving Carol . Lori had died giving Birth to her baby . Now  we were left in a complete mess.  Rick  was  a emotional mess not talking to anyone since Lori had died  he hadn't even seen his baby yet.

    He just disappeared inside the prison and we all gave him space. Truth be told we all need space but we just had to take what we could get and start to build back some sort of normal life within these walls

    The baby was crying again ..you rolled out of bed and picked her up out of the makeshift crib that was inside your cell . She was hungry .. We didn't even know what to call her because Rick won't talk to us and poor Carl shouldn't have to name his own sister not after what he just went through.

    So for now you just called her baby girl   .."Are you hungry Baby girl  ?" you talked to her softly as you gave her one of the bottles that were already prepared Right after she had been born Daryl had gone on a run to find her some food .

    She took the bottle and drank hungrily . You watched her as she ate and once again your thoughts turn to Rick .. They had been doing that a lot lately.. Even before the attack and before . You had realize a long time ago your feelings for him were more than just friends.. You loved him ..but because he was married and his wife was pregnant you never said anything and now.. You couldn't even think about trying to say anything so you would just be here for him ..even if he didn't know it .

    "Still no sign of Rick uh?" you asked for breakfast as you finish feeding the baby before you handed her over to Beth. Hershel shook his head 

" I don't even think he came back into sleep " he said. You sigh and stood up " he needs to eat and get some rest " you said you grab your knife and a gun and a flashlight. 

Glenn grab your arm " be careful "he said 

    " I will " you told him and walked back into tombs . I knew he would be at the boiler room where Lori died so that where you were headed. The hallways were lined up with the bodies of walkers that Rick had taken down and you could see now he had been a man on a mission.

    You made it to the boiler room and slowly open the door and with gun raised you headed down the stairs..

"Rick ?" you called softly  you turn the corner and you saw him sitting up against a wall there was an old dial phone sitting in front of him and he was staring at it just like he was expecting it to ring. He looked up when he heard you approached you slid your gun in you holster on your side and put your knife.'

    " How are you doing ?" you asked softly.. Bending down in front of him. He looked at you but you knew he wasn't really looking at you . It was sad really to see this once strong man broken like this. "   
waiting .." he finally said looking back down at the phone

" Why for what ?" you asked'  
"For her to call back " he said . You looked down at the phone and back at him  
    .Then it hit you and you  had to swallow tears back you sat down in front of him and slowly reached out taking his hand in yours he stiffen up  but didn't pull away 

" Rick ..she not going to call.. " you said softly watching his reaction 

." she will  she did before she will call back" he said his hands were trembling in yours. 

" you need to snap out of this .. You have kids to take care of people who love.... care for you who  are worried about you " please Rick  you need to come back with me. " you need to get some eat and get some sleep "  you told him.  
    He didn't say anything just looked back down at the phone .. 

" Please Rick ..for me " you said tugging on his hand a little  Suddenly he  lunged forward  knocking you backwards

" NO I'M FINE JUST GO " he was yelling now ..  You scramble to your feet trying not to cry and nodded..

"Sure ok. You left the boiler room and  leaned up against the wall and cried ..for Rick for Lori for the baby for Carl for yourself for Everyone..  
    The rest of the day you couldn't get Rick out  your head. The look in his eyes.  He was going to slowly kill himself though grief and guilt.

You hadn't told anyone what happened in the boiler room you didn't want anyone else to know how far gone he was at this point.

" How baby girl doing? You asked coming up to Carol who was doing clothes .  Baby was in a box cushion with blankets she was sleeping peacefully.

" good she a very good baby despite the rough start "Carol replied.

" How was Rick ?" she asked You sigh

" not good " you answered honestly  Carol sigh 

"The stress and Lori's death finally gotten to him " she said  " but he can come back from this  " you said .  
   
   You had to believe.  that. At dinner everyone was gather around talking quietly eating  you were sitting with Carl trying to get him to talk . He wasn't say much these days but you wouldn't give up . All the sudden everyone heard a noise coming from the open door leading from the tombs

    .Glenn and Daryl stood up ready to defend .but they sat back down when Rick appeared In the doorway he looked around at everyone . His eyes feel on yours for a second  you saw the old rick in there before he looked down to carl next to you. He walked in and walked back towards the cells.. Still no one said anything.

     After a minute everyone went back to eating . After you finish eating you grab an extra plate  for Rick you walked back to the cells and looked into his .. He was there fresh from a shower and was pulling on a shirt  you forced yourself to look away . 

" here I thought you might be hungry " you said not looking at him just holding out the plate until he took it

" thanks..." he said softly.. you nodded and turned and started to walk off when "y/n " you stop and turned  
     " yeah " you asked managing to look up at him  Again you saw a glimpse of the old rick in there 

" I am  sorry for earlier about yelling at you " he replied.. You nodded

" I understand.. get some rest" you said and turned and walked off.

    Later that night after you had settled baby girl down you slip out of your cell  . You just wanted to check  on Rick and make sure he was ok. You were half expecting to see his cell empty .  But to your surprise and to your relief  he was in his bunk asleep

    . He was laying on his stomach face facing you one arm hanging over the side of the bunk. You couldn't help but smile  and walked in and lifted his arm up onto the bed and cover him with a blanket  and because you couldn't help yourself  you leaned down and kiss his cheek softly.  he stir and you froze as he shifted a little but he settled down and started snoring softly. you sigh and gave him one last look before heading back to bed.


	2. Pieces

The next day you were up early cause baby girl decided she had slept enough . You groan and rolled out of bed .You hadn't slept that much to begin with .The events of the day before kept replaying over and over in you mind. 

But you couldn't be mad at baby girl .. not when she looking so sweetly looking up at you .

" hey sweetheart you ready to start your day huh ?" you said changing her diaper and putting a clean outfit on her before you picked her up .

"lets go and get something to eat huh ?" you said and slip out of the bunk in search of a fresh bottle for her. you passed Rick's cell and you noticed it was empty and you hope that didn't mean he had gone back . 

You walked out into the main area and stop short when you saw Rick and Hershel talking quietly at a table they looked up when you came in you gave them a small smile.

"Sorry someone was hungry " you said going to cooler that held the bottles . you grab one and turned and headed back feeling Rick 's eyes on you . the whole time. 

You didn't see Rick again until later that afternoon he was outside this time. you were filling up buckets with clean water and you noticed how he was just walking out long the fence. It look like he was looking for something. you sigh.. as you watch him.

" he looking for her " Hershel said as he walked up to you . your heart broke at this 

" he was waiting for her to call down in the boiler room " you said. " what do we do ?" you asked looking at the older man he sigh 

" just be here for him he got to come to grips with her death on his own plus he got his own guilt on top of it. " and his kids " I mean poor Carl and the baby girl " you said.

"they are probably what keeping him fighting right now "Hershel replied

"So we just have to be patient with him and be here for him when he is ready " you said Hershel nodded. 

"Alright that what we will do then ' you said .   
The older man looked at you .. " you really love him don't you ?" he asked you looked at him in shock but decided not to denied it 

" I do I have for a while but for obvious reason never made my feelings known and now its... well beside I don't think he felt those feeling for me any ways so it better just to be a friend than not " you said.   
"Well I wouldn't dismiss them just yet .. just give it time " Hershel replied patting you on the shoulder before walking back inside. you stood there and watch Rick walk up and down the fence again Time was something that you may not have. 

You had just put baby girl back down after she gotten up for another midnight feeding when you heard something coming from outside. you check on her again and then slip out looking around you didn't see anyone but heard it again it sound like someone in one their cells ..

you walked down and checked on Carl he was asleep and then you check in on Rick. That when you noticed he was tossing and turning talking in his sleep on his back. you walked in.. he was drench in sweat and his hands were balled up in the sheets .

"Lori " your heart sank...as he called out his wife name over and over again crying at the same time. Tears in your own eyes as you bend down and put a hand on his forehead.. he still for a second his breathing still rapid and heavy .. 

" Lori ..I am so sorry "..his eyes flutter open before closing again and he start moving again. suddenly his one hand grab yours and held on .. " I miss you... why did you leave.." every word was cutting your heart into two.. you knew he still loved her .. just because of one mistake wouldn't have erase years of memories together. 

All you could do now is comfort him back to a peaceful sleep and get out of there. you reached over and started running your fingers though his hair talking softly to him until he settled down the grip on your hand loosen just a little as he settled into a deeper more restful sleep. 

You didn't leave until he was snoring softly and you were able to slip your hand away . But as soon as you did you slip out and went back to your cell and collapsed on the bed and cried until you were to tired to cry any more . He wasn't just broken he was shattered and you didn't know if all those pieces could be put back together to again. 

But you were going to try not for your sake because you had already accept the fact he would never be yours . but you needed to try to his kids sake to get their dad back . To get this group 's leader back again . You would try for Rick himself because he shouldn't have to live likes this. Everything that was meant to be would work out you just had to believe that.


	3. First Steps

After a couple days, you noticed a pattern. During the day while you went about the day. You would have noticed Rick walking the fence clearly looking for someone. You would have walked out there every couple hour and get him to drink something so he didn't pass out in the heat.   
He never said anything to you but just kept walking. Then at night you would have to go into his cell and talk to him softly until he fell out of whatever dream he was in. This was becoming a nightly thing and it was nearly killing you. But you kept pushing yourself telling yourself if this is what it took to help him. Your pain was worth it  
. *************************************************  
One day you decided to try to talk with him again. It had been over a week since you had tried to really talk to him in the boiler room. So, when you headed out towards the fence where he was now sitting and staring out at. you came up and sat down next to him  
" Here you might want this " you said handing him a bottle of water. he took and open it and took a drink but still didn't say anything. you took a deep trying to figure out what to say  
" I understand what you’re doing out here I really do and I understand you think you need this. but guess who needs you. Carl. your daughter. they need you I need you “you thought to yourself He still didn't say anything.   
"They need their father especially Carl right now. he doesn't talk to anyone. mostly sit in his cell. " you said. You heard him sigh but that was all. you continued  
" and baby girl. well she is the sweetie’s thing. I just wish we knew what to call her. you know. " you said ...you glanced over at him. He wasn't looking at the fence any more he was staring down at the ground.   
" just wanted you to know we are all here for you when you’re ready " you said touching his shoulder. he tenses up. and you removed it quickly your heart skipping a beat  
." well I guess I let you be. " you stood up and walked back to the prison Daryl was standing in the doorway watching you.   
" how is he? he asked you sigh. " I am not sure." you replied. " but he will get there " you said with more determination than you felt. Daryl didn't say anything but he just nodded. What else was there to say?  
***************************************  
It was a couple days later when you had handed baby girl off to Beth for the day. You first instinct was to look outside for Rick. It had become such a habit that it was the first place you looked. But he wasn't there.  
Your heart stop as you scan the yard for him. But he was nowhere in sight You turned back into the prison   
"Have you seen Rick this morning?" you asked Hershel when you walked into the common area. The older man smiled and nodded   
“Him and Carl are out in the courtyard " he said  
“Really?" you said surprised and hopeful all at the same time you wander out that way just to see staying far enough back so they didn't see you.   
You saw they were seated at a bench at the far corner of the court yard and they were talking or at least Carl was that was such a good sign and Rick was listening to him looking right at him. You sigh in relife. You slip back inside unnoticed and couldn't help the smile on you face the rest of the day.   
*************************************************8  
After that you could see a major difference in Carl whatever Rick had said to him help a whole lot he was more outgoing and helpful. Espically with the baby.  
" we really need to name her " you were telling him as he helps you give her a bath it the makeshift tub outside since it was so nice. you were holding her while she squirms and he splash water on her to rinse her off.  
" Dad said I could name her if I wanted " Carl said you looked at him with a smile  
" and what do you want to name her?" you asked he thought for a moment as you finish rinsing her off  
“Judith " he said." After my third-grade teacher " he replied looking proud of himself. you grinned  
"perfect " you said "What is perfect?" you turned around lifting   
"Judith” to your shoulder and wrapping the blanket around you saw Rick standing there you nodded to Carl   
" go ahead tell him what your sister's name is? you said. Rick looked at Carl  
" I thought Judith was a pretty name " he said Rick smiled softly and nodded.   
" I like it " he said and you sigh. turning your attention to the now name baby you laid her in your arms   
'" looks like we can’t call you baby girl any more can we miss Judith " you leaned down and kissed her still damp cheek.  
"it ok though I will still call you baby girl" you said. you looked up and found watching Rick watching you and suddenly you got real nervous.   
" you want to hold her?" you asked he hesitated for a split second before nodding you walked over and gentle placed Judith in his arms tense ready to snatch her back if need be.   
He just stood there staring down at her for a moment. You and Carl were silent as you watch him. Finally, he looked up first at you and then at Carl   
" she looks like you did when you were a baby " he said and you grin while Carl made a face." I had to be cuter than that." he said you laughed Rick chuckled. At that point Judith started making her own feelings known   
" she must be hungry " you step forward " do you want me to take her " you asked He shook his head   
” I can feed her " he replied "where are her clothes? He asked   
” in my cell on my bunk and carl can show you where her bottles are." I will just clean up here " you said. he nodded without giving you another look turn around and walk back inside with Carl at his side. You sigh maybe just maybe things were finally going to get back to normal again


	4. Conflict

Of course, when things go too smoothly something always comes along and ruin it. It was no different now. It all started with a simple run. Judith need more diapers and formula so a couple of people would need to go out and get some and whatever else they could find.   
Daryl Volunteer to go and so did you. You need a break away from the prison and just concentrated on something other than Rick because it wasn't helping your feelings for him go away at all. if any it was making it worst. 

You were discussing the run with Daryl and making the final arrangements when Rick walked in.   
"What's going on?" he asked Daryl looked at you. you shrugged  
" Going out on run for more food for Judith and anything else we can grab" you explained. He frowns  
"You’re going out? he asked " yeah me and Daryl shouldn't take more than a couple hours at the most " you replied.  
" No I don't like it “Rick said You sigh. "Rick this is for YOUR daughter " you said trying to remain reasonable.  
" it too dangerous for you “he replied He looked at Daryl  
" get Maggie or Glenn to go " he said and turning and walking out. Your mouth dropped opened and you could stare at where he disappeared.  
" Did he just. did that just happen?" you asked turning back to Daryl who was trying to hid a grin.   
" I think he just shut you down " he said picking up his crossbow. " no, he didn’t. I am going he can’t tell me what to do " you said temper flaring   
" you sure you want to cross him on this?" Daryl asked " Let’s go " you said ignoring his question and headed outside to Daryl 's bike.   
*****************************  
As you predicted the run only took a couple hours and it was very quiet Glenn and Carl open the gates to let you and Daryl ride back though the bike.   
You had hit the jackpot and found a daycare just a little way down the road and they 6 or 7 cans of formula and couple packs of diapers now that were currently tied to the bike. Carl came over to help with the stuff he had an odd look on his face   
" what wrong?" you asked him "Dad he is mad that you went out with Daryl. " he said you sigh.  
"Don't worry he will get over it " you said as you handed him your bag. Daryl walked up to you.   
"You ready to face this?" he asked " yeah worse thing he going to do is yell to be honest it nice to see some kind of emotion in him " you replied. You walked into the prison. Carol and Maggie was sitting at one of the metal benches Carol holding Judith they both gave you looks   
" is it that bad?" you asked “yep " was Maggie replied. you put down the bags of formula   
"Well I better get this over with " you said “Where is he?" you asked “Courtyard I think " Maggie said. You took a deep breath and headed out there.  
He was standing at the fence looking out his back to you but you knew he heard you come up. You stop next to him leaning against with your shoulder facing him  
" I am fine." was all you said and he turned on you “DIDNT I TELL YOU NOT TO GO!! he yelled “AND I TOLD YOU I WOULD BE FINE AND I AM " you snapped   
"AND I GOT YOUR DAUGHTER MORE FOOD SO INSTEAD OF YELLING WHY DONT YOU SAY THANK YOU !!" you yelled back. he pushed away from the fence and started pacing.  
"That was stupid and foolish anyone else could have gone. why did you have to go.? something could have happened out there and you could have not come back. " he turned around on your  
"Didn't you think. do you ever think ... his voice was growing louder again?   
“THAT ALL I EVER DO IS THINK “you realizing you were yelling again. but you couldn't help it   
‘ALL I DO IS THINK ABOUT YOU AND YOUR KIDS. " you said he stop and rounded on you and you had to step back  
“DONT WE DONT NEED YOU!! he yelled before he walked off. His words left you frozen to the spot You already cracked heart finished breaking into a million pieces. You didn't even realize you were crying until you heard the sob that came out of your mouth.   
"y/n? Maggie walked up to you wrapping an arm around you. obviously, the whole group heard the fight.  
" he didn't mean. he needs you more than he realizes " she said softly. you continued to cry not able to do anything else. 

After a while you pulled away from Maggie " I need some time" you said walked past her and everyone else to your cell threw the covers over the door and threw yourself on your bed.  
All your dreams had just hit the floor and busted into a million pieces. Maybe it had been foolish to even believe in the first place that one day he would come to love you like you loved him. 

But you had hope and now that hope was completely and utterly gone Damn him. damn you for even going there. But you wouldn't let this break you. you just forget your feelings for him and do what you should have done from the beginning and just worry about your own survivor. 

But deep down in your heart that didn't set well with you but at this point that was the best thing you could do.


	5. Broken heart

After that fight with Rick you try to avoid him as much as possible and concentrated on getting things done around the prison. Hershel had shown you had to start a garden out of some seeds that been taken from the farm before it had been overrun. So, you spend most of your day breaking the ground and planting. You worked though day despite the heat.

"Young lady you need to come in and eat something and rest " Hershel hobble out to where you were still working. You looked up

" I am ok " you told him " it going to be dark soon not much more you can do out here today Hershel said. and you stood up pulling off your gloves.

" I know your hurting but you don't need to make yourself Sick "Hershel said.

" I just got a little too involved in the work that all you said as you walked back to the prison. " he didn't mean what he said. he needs you those kids need you" Hershel said I think when you left on that run it scared him because he wasn't there to protect you he said.

" I can take care of myself " you said. "yes, I know you can so dose he but after everything he went through with Lori he doesn't want to lose another person he cares about "Hershel said. "go get cleaned up eat something and rest " he said patting you on the shoulder before walking off. 

Heading back to your cell you thought about what Hershel said. It all made sense but it still hurt to hear those words from Rick after everything. You sigh and went to take a shower. after you cleaned up you were heading back towards the common area to grab something to eat when Rick step out of his cell

" Can I talk to you for a second " he asked. you hesitated. "Please?" he said motioning for you to come into his cell. You sigh and nodded walking into his cell. you noticed Judith sleeping in her crib that had been moved into his cell a couple days ago, you settled yourself up against the wall arms folded across your chest.

He sat down on his bed leaning on his knees he looks down at the floor first. For a minute, no one spoke. Then he sighs 

" I know what I said hurt you and I am sorry I didn't mean what I said. about needing you." he said. your heart flip in your chest.

" we do need you me and the kids. you have done lot for us since.... Lori died." he said stumbling on the words. It was the first time he had mention her since she died." and I am very thankful for everything. " he said looking up at you he gave you sad sort of smile.

" I know I overreacted about you going out on the run but I just worry about your safety." he said. you nodded. unable to speak still. He stood up I just wanted to say I am sorry but to also thank you for being a really good friend. " he said and you felt your heart heal a little but also break at the same time. you forced yourself to smile it ok " you said softly. he smiled looking a little relived like he hadn't though you would forgive him. 

Of course, you would forgive him there was no question about that. because if friendship was all that he could offer you that would be enough for you. You would just have to find a way to heal your broken heart and move on.

 

Life was to short now a day. So, after that apology you guys went back to an easy friendship like it had been. but you made yourself keep a little distance it helps and as each day passed it help a little more. You were entirely sure it you would every stop loving him but at least you would be so broken heart over the man anymore. 

One day you and Maggie were out walking the fences taking down walkers that were leaning against the fences. That when you notice something. or someone walking out of the woods." hey look " you pointed it the man out to Maggie Both of you pulled out guns as he staggered towards you. 

"Help please..." he yelled as he took down a couple walkers near him but nearly collapsed in the processes. 

"Go get Daryl and Rick and Glenn " you told Maggie. Then you turned to the Stranger "Walked to the gate and keep your hands where I can see them ok " you pointed the gun at him " he nodded and started towards the front gate. 

"You going to have to wait till my friends get here " you said. " how many are you?" he asked in a tried tone " more than you " you replied. earning a small smile out of him. you couldn't help but notice he wasn't bad looking despite the dirt. He looked like he hadn't eaten well in days or slept. Suddenly everyone beside you ...

"Told him he had to wait till you got down here " you told Rick who nodded and looked at the stranger.

" What 's your name?" he asked. "Michael " he replied

"Are you alone?" Michael looked down " I am now. I had a camp but a herd came and wiped everyone out.

" I was lucky I had been out looking for food and when I came back they were gone "he replied.

" How long has that been? Rick asked him. "A week or so Michael replied. 

As you listen to Michael and his story you believed what he was telling you. 

You just hope Rick did to. "Hold for a second ok?" Rick said and turn around to talk with you Daryl, Glenn and Maggie.  
"We can't turn him away " you spoke up causing Rick to look at your funny look

I wasn't going to suggested that but we need everyone input on this inviting a stranger in " he said." we cant be too careful he could be lying "Daryl said and Rick nodded. But on the other hand, he could be telling the truth " you said and Maggie nodded agreeing with you.

"Alright for now we bring him in and put him in one of the cells until we can have decided if he safe enough to let out." Rick said.  
You still didn't like it but it was better than nothing. 

"Y/n go talk to Hershel Carol and Carl. let them know what going on" Rick said to you and you nodded taking one last look at the stranger over your shoulder before walking back into the prison.


	6. The Stranger

Michael didn't seem to mind having to be locked up in a cell. " if I am safe and will be fed and it not going to be forever I am ok " he told you one day as you sat outside the cell talking.  
You had been doing that a lot the last two days he had been in there. "we just have to becareful " you told him about the attack on the prison " we lost good people that day" you said softly.  
He reached out though the bars and touch your hand You looked up at him " I know what you mean I lost my sister and brother at the camp " he said I am so sorry "you said he smiled sadly Thanks " he replied and for a second your gaze met.  
But then someone called your name you turned and saw Rick standing a couple feet away frowning " can I talk to you for a second I need you to do me a favor " he said. You stood up and gave Michael a smiled before walking over to Rick. "What?" you asked " I need you to look after Judith for a while " he said  
"Isn't Beth Watching her?" you asked " yes but she going to help Maggie outside in the gardens for a while " he replied. you sigh and nodded. "alright I will go get her " you said and you started to walked past him when he spoke " So what were you guys talking about?" he asked you stop and looked at him.  
" Things?" you replied "thing?" he repeated What sort of things?" he asked. you sigh just things Rick why are you interested? you asked his face harden " I am not just curious to know what kind of guy he is. " he replied. I told you he a decent guy " you replied before walking off to get Judith.  
A few days later Rick finally let Michael out of the cell after a long discussion with him. You took him around showing him where everything was. " this is where you can sleep it isn't much but it beats the woods " you said showing in a cell right next to yours. He grinned  
" hey you won’t ever hear me complaining even when I was in lock down I had the best night sleep since this whole crap started. " he said and you laughed. "Well I should go I need to go work on the garden for a while before it gets to hot " you said  
"let me go with you. I want to be useful " he said You grin " you want to help in the garden?" you said he step closer to you giving you flirty grin " if it means working beside a pretty woman than yes " he said and you felt yourself blush. "well come on then " you said headed outside  
Walking outside You saw Rick was walking around with Judith in his arms talking Hershel about something. "So, you guys really took this whole prison yourself " Michael asked as you walked over to the garden. you bent down and pick up the gloves passing him a pair.  
" yeah but it wasn't easy and it wasn't without some loses " you said glancing over at Rick who was looking over at you. You didn't know what his problem was ever time you talked to Michael he seems to be starting at you. You didn't know why He had even said himself Michael was a decent guy.  
"Alright so show me what to do" he said breaking you out of your thoughts. Ignoring Rick's stare, you turn back to Michael and sigh alright let’s see what your made of " you said with a laugh.  
Much later you walked out of the shower feeling a lot cleaner you were walking past Michael's cell When he called out to you. You stop and leaned up against the doorway of his cell. He had been laying stretched out on his bunk when you stop he got up and step over to you. His hair still damp from his shower.  
"Feel better?" he asked " yeah what about you?" you asked him meeting his gaze. You saw what he wanted and you had to admit that you wanted to it to. just to see. so, you let him leaned in wrapping an arm around your middle pulling you closer as his lips barely touch for a split second before he deepens it.  
You let him take control of the kiss as you wrap your arms around his neck. IT was nice and was nice to be wanted like this. But something was still missing. You pulled back and step back. 

"Well I guess I am going to bed you said " good night " he said. you walked back to your cell and right before walked in you happen to look up and saw Rick leaning in against the doorway of his cell his eyes trained on you.  
The look was unreadable but you saw the stress there. You wish you could just go over and help him relax a little. After a second of starting you looked down and walked back into your cell and threw a blanket over the doorway before crawling into the bed. It wasn't fair here you had a good and decent guy wanting you and when you kiss him you don't feel much of anything. and all Rick must do is look at you and your heart is racing. How did you suppose to move on when your heart is playing trick with you like this? Sleep was a long time coming as you thought of this.


	7. Mixed Signals

After tossing and turning for most of the night you got up with the sun. As you dressed for the day you heard Rick talking softly with Judith. You smiled to yourself. It may have started out as a rocky start but he was becoming a good father to her.You walked out of your cell and stop in front of his he was sitting on the bunk feeding Judith her bottle.

  "She up awfully early " you commented.  He looked up at you "so are you can't sleep?" he asked    
   ” no got a lot on my mind " you replied. "Want to talk about it " he said patting the bed next to him. you smile and sat down next to him

  " It nothing really” you replied " well I recall someone telling me that she would always be there if I wanted to talk" he said bouncing Judith on his knee after she finish her bottle.   
   "yes, and that is still true. " you said it just I don't know what " you said.  he reached over and took one of your hands into his causing you look up at him.

    " Well I am here if you figure out and want to talk he said. You smiled "Thanks ' you said 

Do you want me to take her so you can finish getting ready for the day " you asked he handed Judith over to you

    "Hey baby girl how about you and me today a girl's day huh?" you said bouncing her in your arms talking to her softly.   
You looked up catching Rick staring at you ." You are really good with her " he said. sitting back down he sigh.

    "just makes me think how Lori would have loved her she had always wanted a girl. " he said looking down at his hands.

" she would have and she would be proud of you the way you are taking care of her and Carl. " you said.

 He just nodded and you decided to not push the subject anymore so you stood up. “

    Well let's go see what kind of trouble we can get into today baby girl " you said giving Rick a wink. see you later. He smiled and nodded.

      After breakfast, you went walking with Judith to the gardens just to check on them. Maggie and Beth were working there along with Michael.   
  "Hey guys I brought a visitor by " you said   "good we can use a break " Maggie said standing up pulling off her gloves and coming over to give Judith a kiss. Michael walked over.

    She a beautiful baby " he said softly touching one of her hand. "Thanks, she not mine but I am awfully fond of her. " you admitted   
he smiled down at you " you look good with a baby " he said

    “I bet you would have made a great mother " his gaze connected with yours.  You wish you could say you heart started racing and had butterflies in your stomach by the look in his eye.

    But no all you could think of was the look Rick gave you this morning in his cell while holding your hand.   
   " Thank you " you replied not sure what to say. " hey Michael can you go get us some waters?" Maggie asked he nodded

  "Sure I will be right back. " he walked off back towards the building.  "so, what is going on between you two?" Beth asked her and Maggie were grinning.   
    you shrugged. " I am not totally sure I mean he a nice guy and I thought I was attracted to him but..." you trailed off looking down at the little girl in your arms.

    "but your heart belongs to someone else right " Maggie said with an understanding look on her face. You sigh “I am trying to change that because he never gone return the feeling." you said blinking back the sudden tears.

  " I don't know about that " Maggie said. "What do you mean? you asked " it just we all have seen the way he looks at  you when you're not looking " Maggie replied.  
"or when you and Michael are talking " Beth added " I think that look says it all " she said and Maggie nodded in agreement.

    You didn't want to listen to them didn't want to get your hopes up again. But you heart still started racing a little at just the thought he might start having feelings for you.

    " maybe " was all you said an at that point Michael had return with the waters.

 

     Later that evening you had just finished feeding and changing Judith and was heading back to Rick's cell to see if he was ready for her. 

  The blanket was thrown over the doorway when you got there. "Rick?" you called out "come in " he called out and you walked in he was stretched out on the bed with one arm lay atop his eyes." Are you ok? you asked " Just tried " was his reply not moving

    " I can let Judith sleep with me tonight so you can sleep " you suggested He sigh and sat up rubbing at his face.

    " no, it ok I can take her " he said   you laid her down in her crib 

   "Well if you're sure. she just been fed and change so that should buy you at least 4 or 5 hours you replied straighten up to look up at him. he stood up and took a step forward bringing him even closer to you.  
    You heart started racing and all you could do was look up at him "Thanks " he said softly 

    "What would I do without you?"  he said as his gaze met yours it was heated look a new look that you hadn't seen from him before. 

  You almost jumped out of your skin when he reached up and lightly ran his fingers along your jawline and then over your lips. 

   "Rick " his name came out on a whisper. Suddenly he blinks and pulled away "I will see you tomorrow " he said stepping back. Disappointment hit you hard.  you just nodded before you turn away and headed back to your cell. 

    Only when you were alone did you let yourself go and cry. sleep was long time coming again tonight.


	8. Trouble

 "Me and Michael can go it no big deal " you said as you leaned up against the wall arms folded across your chest. Everyone was sitting around discussing who should go out on a run to get some more formula for Judith.

     You had suggested you and Michael because you need a break and you figure it would give Michael a chance to learn. Rick looked between you and Michael before he turns to Michael " and you're ok with going back out there?" he asked Michael nodded

  " I am good I want to help as much as I can " he said. Rick just nodded and sigh.

" alright " he finally gave in and you grinned " perfect make us a list of anything else to look for while we are out " you said.

 

      You turn to Michael " we can leave in a few minutes you said and he nodded and you headed back to your cell to grab your things. 

 "please be careful " you turned around seeing Rick at the doorway of your cell.

    " I will " you said giving him a smile. " we won't be gone long " you said walking up to him.  he didn't move from the doorway just staring at you intently.

'What?" you asked he didn't reply but instead reached out and wrap an arm around your waist and pulled you up against his body.

    Your heart about jumped out your chest as you looked up at him. Being this close to him you could feel everything and it was driving you crazy. But before you could think to say anything. His mouth was down on you in a rough kiss.

    You moaned opening to his demand. Your body doing its own thing your hips pushed forward into his. you heard him growl as he deepens the kiss. 

But someone calling for you broke the spell and he pulled away. letting you go and you felt disappointment. He would not look at you 

" I am sorry " he said and turned and walked away. Shock had you frozen to the spot until Michael came up tell you it was time to go.

    "Are you ok you very quiet?" Michael asked later as you were both in the car heading towards your destination. 

Trying to find a store that would have some formula for Judith and anything else useful.

    Michael was driving and you were sitting in the passenger seat trying not to think about Rick and his kiss.  He had to go and do something like that and then apologize for it. It was clearly a mistake on his part.

    You were such a fool. "y/n are you listening to me?" Michael said. you snapped out of your thoughts. "I am ok just a lot on my mind " you replied gazing out the window you saw up head a little store.  
  "Pull over there we can check it out " you said.

Michael did as you said. Both you got your weapons ready and climbed out of the car. "You go on and take the front and I will take the back " you told Michael who nodded and headed towards the front of the building. you went around the back gun raised excepting anything at this point it was to quiet and you didn't like it.

    There was just one door around the back but it was locked so you went around to the other side and made your way up front checking all four side of the building. Suddenly you heard gun fire inside the building. You sprinted off to the front of the building and ran straight inside.

    You were greeted with a store full of walkers. "Crap you thought. searching for Michael.   you started firing bring down a couple walkers as they approached you. That when you saw Michael was pinned in a corner with what look like moveable shelf between him and the walkers.

    You started making as much noise as you could to draw their attention away from Michael.  You started shooting again backing towards the door. You saw Michael could break free and started stabbing as he made his way towards you.  Suddenly your foot caught something and you went flying backwards. 

 You hit something and heard something shatter. Before you fell into darkness you saw walkers coming for you.  
************************************

      Not sure how much time had passed but next time you woke up you realize two things. You were alive and that you were back in the car. In the backseat of the car and it was moving. You tried to sit up but there was pain in your side

    " Hey your awake " Michael looked over his shoulder from the driver seat "just hang in there we will be back at the prison soon " he said looking worried "What happen?" you asked "You fell backwards through the glass door it shatter and your side is pretty cut up bleeding pretty bad. " he said "and the walkers?" you asked

    " I managed to get the rest of them. " he said you relaxed back into the seat closing your eyes now that the rush was gone you could feel the pain just hang in there " Michael said again.  You drifted in and out. but before you knew you felt the car slow down and finally come to a stop.

    You woke up enough to try to sit up but once again you couldn't move much don't move " he said as he climbed out of the car. Suddenly the backdoor open. At the sound of your name you open your eyes. Rick was there reaching in for you worry etched all over his face. " I am good " you said weakly. "We will see about that " Rick said pulling you into his arms   you wince and bit your lip to keep from crying out in pain.

     Rick held you close. " you're going to be fine " he said softly in your ear. as he started towards the building. You tried to stay awake but you couldn't fight the darkness that was enveloping you. The last thing you heard was Rick telling you that you would be ok.


End file.
